#depending on exactly how cringe you think that I am.

[damianwaynelives]

Was trying to remember those weird honorifics they used based on their dictator's names as I was falling asleep last night....

(I may or may not have been imagining another YJK time travel fic.)

Anyone else who read the Jedi Apprentice series watching Skeleton Crew now?

At Attin was giving me vibes a little similar to Kegan, the planet Obi-wan and Siri had to go to evil high school at.

It's not quite the same, Kegan was a lot more overtly dystopian. But they both had isolationism, mass surveillance, and having your job be assigned to you. This really feels like a planet you'd see in the old Legends kids books

[queenerdloser]

so while listening to my throwbacks playlist a while back i realized it has been literal years since i watched an episode of glee, a show so near and dear to my heart it's impossible to talk about my media literacy without talking about it. and i was mildly thinking like huh it might be fun to do a full ass rewatch with liveblogs for each ep. really dive back into it. and tonight on my drive home i was thinking well i probably won't have time to do something like that until the new year and it occurred to me that omfg glee ended in 2015. it's literally been 10 years since the end of glee (first of all: jesus christ). which brings me back to well now i HAVE to do it and i'm going to make a full ass wordpress blog to do it on.

[sissylittlefeather]

Role Play Part 1: Good Cop, Bad Cop

A/N: This might be a one-shot or maybe I'll write more parts. I haven't decided yet. It'll depend on whether anyone likes it. But this is based on photos from Sonny West's wedding. It's Elvis x fem!reader and it is dirrttyyyy.

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, kissing, cussing, fingering, oral sex (m & f receiving), p in v penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, gun play, Elvis being bossy and dom, infidelity, cop roleplay, handcuffs, I think that's everything?

Word count: ~3.5k

When your cousin asked you to help with one of her catering events, you weren't exactly excited. However, you changed your mind when you found out who the event was for.

"You know who Sonny West is, right?!" You frantically ask your cousin.

"Kind of? All I know is Elvis Presley is picking up the tab for the whole wedding."

"I will absolutely help you with this event." You smile and grab her arm, squeezing it gently. This is the opportunity of a lifetime and you've never been happier to be related to her.

******

On the day of the big event, you spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom doing your hair and makeup. Everything has to be perfect on the off chance you happen to get to meet Elvis. You know it's a long shot, but still, this is a better chance than you've ever had before. Once you feel like the look is complete with your tight black skirt and white button down, you head out the door. You're assigned to work the after party at Graceland, so you get in your car and drive that way.

The wedding party isn't there yet when you arrive, but they will be soon, so you get to work helping prepare food and set out trays.

You're in the kitchen when you hear the party arrive and everyone heads out to their assigned spot. You're putting the finishing touches on your tray, though, so you stay behind in the kitchen. That's when you see him for the first time.

He saunters into the kitchen to get a bottle of his favorite water from the fridge. You don't notice him walk in, so you're startled when the refrigerator door opens. You gasp and put your hand on your heart, glad you didn't drop the tray you're holding.

"Oh, I'm sorry darlin', I didn't mean to scare ya." He drawls. Your mouth drops open a little at the sight of him there in his velvet suit and white tie. You've suddenly forgotten how to speak English. "What's your name, honey?"

A smirk plays across his mouth. He's enjoying the fact that he's got you speechless as you search your brain for the answer to his question. After way too much time, you finally get it out.

"My name is y/n. You're..."

"I am. It's nice to meet you, y/n. Welcome to my home."

"It's nice." You cringe a little with your response and he smiles.

"Thank you. I better get back out there. Hopefully we run into each other again." He winks shamelessly and you blush as he leaves the kitchen. You take a deep breath and head out to your assigned post near the drink table.

You stand there for about twenty minutes before you feel eyes on you from across the room. When you make eye contact he winks again and smiles. He obviously isn't paying much attention to the conversation he's supposed to be in. Your cheeks flush and it suddenly feels very warm in the room. You decide it's time for a bathroom break and grab another waiter to let them know where you're going. You get there and wash your hands with cold water, pressing them to your cheeks when you finish. You look in the mirror and shake your head a little and then head out the door. What you don't expect is to almost run smack into Elvis when you leave the bathroom.

"Oh my gosh!" You put your hands on his chest to keep from running into him and look up at him as he chuckles.

"I guess I did say I hoped to run into you." You nod, speechless again. "Are you afraid of me?" His eyebrows knit together in the center of his forehead, showing his concern. Finally, you find your voice.

"No! I'm sorry; I'm just a little starstruck. I can't believe you're talking to me."

"Why wouldn't I be talking to you? Look at you." He gently brushes some of your hair out of your face and tucks it behind your ear. You look at each other for a while and his eyes flick down to your mouth. Then, he cups your chin in his hand and starts to lean in towards you. As he presses his lips to yours softly, fireworks go off somewhere behind your navel. He pulls back slowly and you hear a voice.

"Boss, they're asking for you again." He sighs deeply and turns to the man sent to summon him.

"I thought I told you not to disturb me tonight."

"It's Priscilla. She-"

"Enough. I'm coming." He turns back to you and smiles. "I'll find you again. Don't worry."

When he leaves you there in the hallway, your breath comes in deep waves and you feel like you might pass out. Elvis Presley kissed you. And it seems like he'd like to do it again. You decide then and there that you'll let him- and more if that's what he wants. After gathering yourself a bit, you go back to your post next to the drink table.

When you get there, Elvis is doing some kind of demonstration with a few of his guns and badges. He's taken his jacket off and you can't get over how good he looks with his shoulder holster and belts showing. He holds up a long rifle and someone takes a picture as he talks. The way his rings clack against the wood and metal and he holds his cigarillo against the butt of the gun makes your warm center even warmer. The masculinity of the scene hits you in the soft and feminine parts of you and you don't just want him, you need him.

When he notices you watching with your mouth opened slightly, he gives you a knowing smile and licks his lips. A shiver runs down your spine and you pray that he will come talk to you again. You serve drinks and pass out smiles and wait patiently for him to be free.

Finally, he catches your eye and nods towards the kitchen. You don't hesitate to head that direction. When you get there, it's bustling with activity. He comes in behind you and you hear his voice boom.

"OUT!" All the waitstaff look at each other and then back at him. "You heard me!"

They gather their things quickly and leave, so that it's just you and him. As soon as you're alone, he wraps his arms around your waist from behind and kisses the back of your neck under where you have your hair pulled up. He whispers into your ear.

"I saw you watching me with my guns. Would you like to see more of them?" You close your eyes with the sensation of his breath on your ear, but you manage to respond softly.

"Yes, please."

"Come with me." He unwraps himself from around you and takes your hand. He leads you up the staircase and through his office to his bedroom. You know someone must have seen you, but it doesn't seem like anyone cares. Or maybe they've just learned not to say anything. Either way, you find yourself standing in Elvis Presley's bedroom as he shows you his small arsenal.

He describes each gun in detail, but you're so distracted by how attractive he is that you would fail a test if he gave you one. Finally, he pulls out a small pistol and makes sure it's completely unloaded. Then, he hands it to you.

"You know how to hold one of these?"

"I don't." He steps behind you again and makes sure you have the gun pointed away from anything. He puts his hands on your waist.

"Feet shoulder-width apart." He runs his hands up to your arms. "Arms straight." He slides his hands down to yours and makes sure your stance is strong. In doing so, he also presses his rock hard cock into your ass. You damn near melt where you're standing. Then, he pulls back quickly.

"What?" You ask, nervously, afraid that he's changed his mind for some reason.

"Little lady, do you have a license for that firearm?" He has a playful smirk again, so you relax.

"No, sir, I don't." He pulls a badge from his pocket.

"Then, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you." Sliding open a drawer, he lifts out a pair of handcuffs. He leans in close to your ear and whispers. "Let me know if this is too much."

"It's not."

"Well, alright then." He takes the gun from you and turns you around, pulling you close to him and kissing you deeply, his tongue sliding into your mouth to dance with yours. He pulls back and looks you in the eye. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but you can kiss me and tempt me all you want. I still have to arrest ya."

You walk together towards the bed with him still wrapped around you and your mouths pressed together, kicking off your shoes as you go. He tosses the handcuffs on the bed and then lifts your shirt up and over your head. Then, he removes his heavy belts, letting them drop to the floor, and his shoulder holster, tie, and necklace. He lets you undo the buttons on his shirt and push it down his arms and off. His hands run up and down your body and then move to your back to unhook your bra. He lays you on the bed and reaches for the handcuffs.

"I hate to do this, but illegal use of a firearm is a pretty serious offense." He speaks matter-of-factly as he handcuffs your wrists around the bedpost. "Some punishment is in order."

With every word, your dripping center becomes wetter and wetter and your absolute need for him grows. He unzips your skirt and slides it down your thighs and off, leaving you in just your panties. With his hands on the inside of each thigh, he spreads your legs. Then, he runs a hand up to your core and feels the wetness there with his thumb.

"Mm. Good girl knows what I like."

"What are you gonna do to me, Officer?" His eyes light up when you play along with his game. You can tell this is a fantasy for him and you're not about to ruin it now. Besides, it's turning you on more than you care to admit.

"I'm gonna make sure you don't do anything like this again."

He moves back up to your chest and runs his tongue around your nipple while you squirm beneath his touch. He sucks lightly on the other nipple and kisses down your stomach. He presses a kiss to the place where your panties are so wet. "Is this what you want, baby?"

You moan softly with the feeling of him so close to where you want him.

"Yes, sir. Please. I promise I'll never do it again." He slides your panties off and puts his finger to your entrance, collecting the wetness gathered there to rub circles on your clit.

"Bad girls deserve to be punished. Are you a bad girl or a good girl, y/n?" He asks.

"I was nice and wet for you, Officer."

"That's true, but you still had that illegal firearm. I think you're a bad girl." He slides two fingers inside you and presses them as far as they'll go, his rings cold against your entrance. Then, he pumps them in and out quickly and lowers his mouth to your clit. He licks over and around it vigorously as you get closer and closer to your climax. When he feels your walls flutter, he backs off of you and pulls both fingers out. You whimper frantically and whisper.

"Noooo, Officer, please!"

"Bad girls don't get to cum when they want to. If you want to be a good girl, you'll cum when you're told."

"Yes sir, please I promise, don't stop!" He goes back to pumping two fingers inside of you, stopping to tickle your sensitive spot every once in a while.

"Does my bad girl want my tongue again?"

"Yes, Officer, please."

"Ask for what you want."

"I want you to lick my pussy again, sir." He gives you a smirk and slides off the bed. When he walks over to the gun case, his pants form a tent around his erection. He fetches the small, unloaded pistol, checking it again for bullets, and walks back to the bed.

"I need to show you how bad this gun can be before I give you want you want."

You nod, hoping he'll let you cum this time. But he doesn't go back to licking you. Instead, he takes the cold metal of the gun and pushes it to your clit gently. You gasp at the sensation and squirm again. He begins to use the tip of the barrel to tease your clit, rubbing it over and around on you carefully. Surprisingly, the sensation is a good one and at one point you cry out in pleasure.

"Oh God, Elvis."

"Does my bad girl want to cum?" He asks as he moves the gun on you gently.

"Yes, please, fuck!"

"Are you gonna be a good girl from now on?"

"Yes, Officer, please!" You moan and he pulls the gun away from you and sets it on the bed. He gets close to your center and blows on your clit gently.

Your orgasm seems to be teetering right on the edge and it's driving you insane. He kisses your hip and down to your pussy again.

"Has my bad girl learned her lesson?" You nod frantically and beg again as he licks up your slit to your clit and back down again.

"Yes! Yes! Please let me cum!" He smiles and presses his lips to your clit. Then, he begins to lick you again, sliding two fingers inside you, and you're so close that it almost hurts.

"Cum for me, baby." He whispers and you whimper as you feel your orgasm closing in. "Remember, good girls do what they're told."

He tightens his tongue to a point and licks directly over your clit hard and your center explodes with waves of undeniable pleasure, crashing over and over as you shake and pulse around his fingers.

"Oh, God, Elvis!" You cry out, completely forgetting about the party going on downstairs. He laughs and slides his fingers out of you.

"Good girl. Now I think it's time you try to convince me not to take you downtown." He retrieves a small key and unlocks the handcuffs, giving you access to your hands again.

"Yes, Officer." You push him down to lay on his back and settle between his legs. Then, you pull his pants down just enough to let his cock spring free. He moans softly as you run your hand up and down his shaft, rolling back his foreskin. When you lean down and lick the tip of his dick gently, he inhales sharply. You pull as much of him into your mouth as possible, gagging a little to fit him. He groans with the sensation of hitting the back of your throat. You pick up a steady rhythm of bouncing on him as you massage his balls.

"Yes, yes, that's my good girl." He moans, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. When you can tell he's getting close, you pull him in deeply again and back off.

"So am I going to jail?" You ask with a pout.

"I'm almost convinced to let you go." He pushes his pants the rest of the way down his legs and flips you over onto your back, lining his cock up with your dripping entrance. "Just one... last... thing."

When he gets to the final word, he pushes into you deeply, filling you fully in one thrust.

"Fuck, Elvis!" You cry out again at the sensation of being stretched and filled so quickly.

"Goddamn, you feel good, baby." He whispers in your ear as he begins to pump in and out of you. After a few minutes, he pushes your knees up so that your feet are pressed against his chest. As he fucks into you, he has one hand on your foot and he leans down and kisses your toe. "Such pretty little feet. Did ya paint these nails just for me?"

"I did." You respond breathlessly as he pounds you over and over again. The feeling is almost overwhelming in the best way possible.

"Good girl. Such a good girl for me." Suddenly, he pulls out and rolls you over, spanking your ass lightly. "Get on your knees, babe."

"Yes sir." You get on your hands and knees as instructed. He holds your hip with one hand and uses his other to tease your slit with the tip of his cock. "Does my good girl want me to fuck her?"

"Yes, Officer, please." You whimper and beg.

He grunts as he pushes into you from behind, putting his other hand on your hip to brace you as he begins to slam into you over and over. His balls slap against you as he fucks you vigorously and you let out a soft cry with each thrust. It feels so good as his length hits your sensitive spot time and time again. He reaches around and begins to make circles on your clit as he fucks you.

"'M gonna cum soon, baby. Cum with me." He moans as he continues to push into you powerfully and rub your clit. Your breasts bounce with every impact and you wish he would never stop.

"Yes sir." You already feel your climax building and you cum hard, your orgasm running through you like wildfire just as he slams into you and moans loudly. You feel his warmth inside you and it just adds to the pleasure of your own pulsing orgasm. He pats on your ass before pulling out.

"That's my good girl."

He slides out of you and you lay down next to each other on the bed looking up at the ceiling, sweating and breathing heavily.

"Thank you, Officer." You turn your head and meet his eyes. His playful smirk is back.

"Anything for a sweet thing like you." He takes your hand and kisses your fingers in a gesture more intimate than your situation.

Suddenly, there's a quiet knock on the door and a voice nervously calls out.

"Boss, I know you said not to bother you, but your wife keeps asking where you are. What should I tell her?"

He looks at you with a devilish glint in his eye and mouths, "oh shit."

You cover your mouth and try not to giggle as he calls back to whomever is at the door.

"Tell her I had some police business to attend to."

The guy at the door walks away and Elvis rolls over onto you and peppers your face with kisses.

"Thank you for indulging me tonight." He leans in and kisses your mouth deeply. "That's more fun than I've had in a long time."

Something that's almost like sadness seems to settle on him and you kiss the end of his nose lightly.

"Of course! It was really fun for me too." He smiles again and kisses your cheek. Then, he rolls off of you and you both start to get dressed. He puts the gun and the handcuffs back where they belong.

"I'll tell you what, I'll never look at this pistol the same way again." You laugh and try to smooth your hair in the mirror. He wraps his arms around you from behind and kisses the back of your neck once more.

"Can I see you again?" You look at him in the mirror with his chin on your shoulder.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea. You're married."

"Ehhhh, for now. I like you. Please?"

You turn around in his arms to face him.

"Now who's begging?" You joke playfully. He makes a pouty face.

"Please, baby. You can pick the role play next time." You raise an eyebrow. That idea is intriguing.

"Can I be in charge?"

"Honey, you can do whatever you want if you dress up for me."

"Deal." He leans in to kiss you and there's another knock at the door. He rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Boss, she really-"

"Will ya let me deal with 'er? I'll be down there in a minute." He turns his attention back to you. "I have to go. I'll find you. We'll do this again. On my honor as a cop." He winks and unwraps himself from around you, kissing you sweetly one last time. As you make your way down the stairs and back to your post, you suppose your cousin probably won't ask for your help again.

When you make eye contact with him across the room again, though, you really don't care. He's worth it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So do we want more?

Taglist:

@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @ashtag6887 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69

[creatingblackcharacters]

What do you think makes y'all not say anything?

Often if I don't say something, it's because I'm not in that particular fandom and don't want to give any engagement to that person because I find it incredibly distasteful. Either that or it's not the original artist posting the image and I can't find them.

Why do you think your peers are comfortable with what they're doing?

I'm not sure, but usually if it's someone I know or is inside my space I point it out and give constructive feedback. I wonder if it's purposeful ignorance, sort of like how people pretend to be bad at chores to get away with it?

Why is it so safe to be antiblack in these fan spaces?

I think people feel comfortable being anti Black when creators and artists don't shut that shit down.

If it's just ignorance, why is educating oneself not a priority when it is offered?

Probably because people don't want to face the fact their behavior isn't okay. It reminds me of a toddler who doesn't want to admit they broke something so they blame it on the pets.

Does it not bother you?

It bothers me immensely! But I don't often see these things, usually only finding them when scrolling Google images or on Pinterest whenever I'm looking for references. In which case I don't know who the artist is and feel too disappointed in humanity to go searching for them.

What is the boundary to where you feel you would be bothered enough to speak up?

If it's someone within my space, someone I know through mutuals, common friends, or someone I have interacted with prior I would confront them. Based on that interaction I'll either help or give up on them.

I also feel like it depends on the severity, if it's something a little more subtle I'm more likely to privately DM and say "hey, you should probably fix [x]"

But if it's an egregious error such as skin lightening or white-washing features I'm more likely to comment publicly and encourage my friends to speak up as well.

Am I asking the wrong questions?

I think you're asking the right questions, but I think a lot of people also don't want to answer them truthfully. Or with their names attached (I can't help but feel uneasy about my name being attached but I know it's an opportunity for me to grow if my viewpoint is inappropriate or inaccurate)

What questions should I be asking, and what exactly do you think the answers would be to those questions?

I think the question that is missing is, "Why are creators allowing their fans and fan spaces to be anti-Black and not protecting their own fans?"

In my opinion, creators have to protect their minority groups in their fan spaces. If you let one nazi in a bar, it'll become a nazi bar, y'know?

I don't think creators are fully at fault for everything their fan spaces do, but I do think they have a responsibility to shut down shit and point out that they don't stand for that.

If people who have the power and strength speak up and make it cringey and shameful to be anti-Black, then people will follow suit. I think people who white wash are super cringe. Like what are you??? Afraid of melanin? Go get skin cancer, stinky. /Silly

Genuine question- why do you need to be in a fandom to call out racism if you see it there?

What happens when it's the creator who is also racist, especially when they are comfortable with the fan base that is on the same page? What will be the creator's motivation to change if their fan base is okay with their behavior in exchange for their content?

I agree about the creators, yes. More questions to consider: If the creator allows Nazis into their bar, yes it's a Nazi bar. But if the other patrons know Nazis attend this bar uncalled out, and still go to it knowing full well that they're not the ones in danger if they say nothing... What makes them not a participating Nazi? Because they have power too, more than they think, and aren't using it!

Also you shouldn't joke about cancer 😅

[nvuy]

HII i'm the anon from before who asked for writing advice !! thank you so much for answering omg (≧▽≦)

i'm not gonna start the tumblr blog idea 'til i actually feel confident in my writing (and already have a few things i can post), which i don't at the moment!

i really wanna write self-indulgent fics and if someone happens to relate then that's great!! thing is, my writing feels bland at the moment and rarely do i have any ideas to actually make into a fic (unlike right now. my brain's flooded with ideas all of a sudden..)

point is! i wanna give my writing a sort of descriptive/poetic feel and i know for sure a wide vocabulary isn't enough, even though it *is* a huge part of the style,, if that makes sense. how should i go about this? so sorry if i'm bothering u with all these writing questions!!!

enjoy the rest of your week nd stay cool <33

ur not bothering me at all, lovely. dont worry about it. i think i am the queen of self indulgent fics so there’s nothing to stress abt and i enjoy explaining how my stupid brain works.

description ;

a wide range of vocabulary isn’t necessary. it helps to know some special words and you’re welcome to incorporate them, but some of the best poetry ive read comes from its simplicity. a lot of people dont really want to read constant droning description; as much as i enjoy writing it myself, i hate authors like charles dickens with a passion. you can tell when a writer was being paid per word rather than how many times the book sells. and fuck his stupid ass christmas book.

a tip i can give you is to do what i do, which is to hand pick words depending on the scene.

i’ll use an example because i know that made zero sense: picture a very basic fairycore forest with pink plants and fireflies. this setting, from the description alone, should explain that this forest is a nice and small tucked away and pretty place. we add a stream that runs along the treeline. let’s describe the stream specifically. which sentence sounds better to you?

The white waters that part the soil flow down the centre of the earth, and divide the trees in two.

The clear waters that part the dirt splash down the middle of the path, and section the forest in two.

now, im hoping to the gods that you think the first one is better. the sentences are exactly the same in terms of definition, and the description depicts the same thing, but its the words used that make the first sentence softer, and therefore the setting seems a lot more peaceful by default.

if you use words with harder and rougher consonants throughout—i’m not telling you to avoid them—will make the sentence sound rougher, at least to me. harder sounds like ‘t’ and ‘k,’ as an example. words like ‘white’ i think, despite the hard ending, are still particularly softer, because the ‘wh’ sound at the beginning serves almost as a counterbalance. it’s why the word ‘clear’ sounds rougher; because it starts with a harder sound despite its softer ending.

it has nothing to do with magical sixteen letter words that nobody understands. learning new big words is cool and you’re welcome to use them, but if i see you writing: And the river is so beautiful, so stupendous, so marvelous, so loquacious… i will kill you with my bare hands.

something i also avoid is repeating the same words over and over again. using the stream as an example still, if you’re going to refer to it again and again, dont just use the word ‘stream.’ you sound like a parrot. change it up. look up synonyms if you’re not sure, or simply describe it also as ‘the water.’ the thesaurus is your best friend.

sometimes you can repeat words to emphasise them, or the passing of times. you can do this, but make sure it appears deliberate.

example:

even in confiteor when i was forced to write the word ‘cock’ 5600 times, i broke it up. frankly because i dont really know what other word to use that doesn’t sound awkward or cringe, so in between verses, i tossed in exposition, internal musings, thoughts and feelings, etc, to change up the repeated use of the word.

i Hope… that made sense . .

dropping cliches ;

cliches are inherently bad things, but there’s a lot of things you can do to differentiate stereotypical phrases and such from the norm.

for example: a confession “i love you.”

BORINGGGGG. put it in the bin (im kidding but you can make it more interesting or heartfelt).

observe the typical: “im in love with you.”

now, in my opinion, it’s better than the former. it sounds more sincere. ‘i love you’ on its own could refer to many different types of love, but “im in love with you” is romance.

scrap the obvious and toss out the word ‘love:’ “i’ll never grow tired of your voice.”

now obviously poetic prose wont always work depending on the character doing the confessing. i could imagine someone like argenti prattling and waxing poetry for nine hours.

someone like boothill, however, in all of his inelegance, you can have more fun with.

observe again: “i trust you.”

“but wait nvuy that’s not a love confession.” it’s called subtly. and, if you’ve written it correctly, i shouldnt have to hear a ‘i love you’ to understand that the two people you’re writing about are in love. i should be able to understand that through interactions and exchanges beyond that. i based old habits around that; you didnt have to see the mc and scaramouche smooch to know that they were in love.

there’s so many ways to explain the feelings of romance without saying “[X] was in love with [Y].” UNLESS you use it for a comedic and abrupt effect that the character themselves is feeling, and not so much you as the narrator telling your audience that the character is in love.

the romance you write can be slow and gentle or quick or hostile or muddied or confusing. make it so through words and actions. it’s all in the ‘show don’t tell.’

so if you want to combine my tips you can write your own gooey gross romantic self indulgent fics just like me and then force feed them to your friends YIPPEEEEEE

[lcandothisallday]

Hi sarah!! I was thinking what if you wrote Jeremy and reader being enemies to lovers but Jeremy never hated her, in fact he always liked her since high school and would try to impress her but it always went wrong which is why she thinks he hates her. Like him trying to show off in the gym at school and accidentally hits reader in the face with the ball and thats just how it all starts. 😮‍💨 That was alot but I think you could write this very well. If not, that’s okay too.

- 🌎anon

i fully didn’t do this request justice and it’s not edited properly so i apologize to all of you😩

Fool for you - Jeremy (WMCJ) x f!reader

You couldn't help your cringe as you entered your new gym. Money was tight so you had to downgrade which wasn't all that bad truth be told, but the sleezy men who kept staring at you and making crude comments as you walked by irked you beyond compare.

With a sigh, you put in your AirPods and play your music before you begin with the stairmaster. As you're climbing, from the corner of your eye you notice a man walking around with a massive bag and bottles of drinks that did not look FDA approved what so over.

You watched in curiosity as he stopped in front of every member, holding the drink up and promoting it like his life depended on it. It wasn't until you got a closer look at who the man was that your eyes widened.

"Oh hell no," you mutter under your breath, slowing down on the stairmaster. There he was--in all his odd hippy glory--Jeremy from high school, the same Jeremy that hated your guts and you never understood why.

You had always thought he was cute all throughout high school, his boyish charm, his curly hair and adorable dimpled smile--mixed with the fact that he was a basketball player, of course you had a little crush on him.

But he always made sure to show you he didn't feel the same. Emphasis on the show you part. There were countless times where you took a basketball to the head, had a drink spilt all over your school work, or simply teased beyond comprehension all in an attempt to embarrass you because he simply hated you.

When Jeremy finished up with one guy, he scanned the room for his next client victim when his eyes landed on you. His breath got caught in his throat as he watched you climb the stairmaster expertly, your thighs and ass taking the full work out.

With a deep breath, his nerves elated, he fixes his shirt by smoothing it down before he slowly begins approaching you.

Ironically, back in high school, Jeremy also had the fattest crush on you. He tried everything to get you to like him but it just continuously backfired because he was always so clumsy or tripping over his words, embarrassing not just himself--but you in the process too.

As you see the curly haired man approach you, you shake your head and immediately turn off the machine.

"Nope." you say sternly, your hand out to stop him in his tracks, cutting him off before he even got the chance to speak. His mouth was agape and eyes wide.

"I didn't even say nothing yet!" he exclaimed in defence. You scoffed and hopped off of the machine.

"I am not in the mood to get hurt today--whatever you're selling, I don't want it. You'll give me food poisoning," you mutter, shaking your head once again.

Jeremy's cheeks went red with embarrassment. "I wasn't uh...wasn't planning on selling you my detox drinks."

You roll your eyes and stare at the curly haired man with your hands on your hips in annoyance. "Is that what you do now?" you ask mockingly. "Given up on basketball and go around dressed like that selling detox drinks to gym bros?"

Truthfully, you didn't mean to sound that rude. You just weren't in the mood to interact with the guy that made your high school experience just a bit more unbearable.

Hearing your insult made Jeremy bite his lip and look down at his feet momentarily in shame. "Well I mean...wasn't exactly my plan...tore both my ACLs and didn't heal properly so I gotta make money somehow," he mumbled in response.

His response made you feel terrible. "Jeremy I'm sorry. That was rude of me," you apologize softly. "I didn't know."

"How could you?" he muttered sarcastically, causing you to frown.

"Look--you came up to me," you argued, crossing your arms over your chest. “Don’t get all sassy with me now,” you said while frowning.

Jeremy chuckled and ran a nervous hand through his hair. “Look…it’s been a while right? we’ve both matured—so why don’t you come to one of my games?” he suggested. “We can catch up after.”

You look at him in question with a slightly raised brow. You couldn’t deny that the adorable and hopeful expression on his face made your heart flutter ever so slightly. Maybe he has grown.

“Sure why not.”

It’s a few days later and you follow the directions that Jeremy had texted you with the location of where the mini ball games were being held. As you approached the stands and took in your surroundings, you began to feel bad for him. Graduating from highschool, everyone thought he was enroute to playing in the NBA so seeing him have to resort to playing in small competitions to keep his passion alive was something that was a bit disheartening—no doubt the feeling probably worse for him.

When Jeremy saw you take a seat in the first row, his heart beat quickened. “She actually came,” he muttered in disbelief under his breath, not having expected you to show up.

Kamal overheard and chuckled. “That her?” he asked for confirmation, Jeremy nodding. “Bro…no offence but she’s outta your league.”

Jeremy groaned. “Don’t you think I know that?” he whined. “I can never impress her—believe me I’ve tried.”

Kamal smirked as he teasingly patted his friend’s back. “Guess you gotta be on your A game, huh?”

The game went rather smoothly with you watching Jeremy with a smile on your face. He managed to not make a complete fool out of himself and you were impressed to say the least. It was nice to see that he still had game. 

On the final play of the game, Jeremy had the ball. He glanced over at you momentarily, which was possibly the worst idea he could’ve done because his nerves got the best of him and with full force, as he went to take a three, it air balled and hit you right in the head.

Some of the girls in the stands also watching the game, snickered, one even whispering “that had to be on purpose,” to her friend.

With a shake of your head, you begin to walk off, not wanting to give Jeremy the satisfaction. It really did feel like he invited you under false pretences of a truce when in reality his whole plan was to embarrass you again. A sick joke.

“Y/N I’m sorry!” Jeremy exclaimed, running after you and stopping you in your tracks as he gently reached for your arms.

“That one actually fucking hurt Jeremy!” you exclaim, turning to face him which is when he noticed the growing bruise on your forehead. “I get it—you hate me! Does my presence around you evoke some sort of violent behaviour or something?”

Jeremy furrowed his brows in confusion. “I don’t hate you. Your presence actually makes me nervous—”

“Okay well if you don’t hate me then why are you always throwing shit at me?!”

“It’s on accident!”

“Every single time?!??”

Jeremy groaned, “I like you!” he exclaimed in exasperation. “I turn into a Damn fool around you! Can’t talk or walk or play ball—thought I’d grown out of it,” he sighed. “Apparently not.”

You furrowed your brows as you stared at him. He sounded sincere. “You have absolutely zero game you know that?”

“Only around you.”

You tried to keep a serious face but you couldn’t help your small laugh. “You’re ridiculous,” you say with a playful shake of your head. “And the funny thing is I’m actually endeared by you which sucks because I genuinely think if I do something about it—I might end up dead one day with the way you are around me.”

Jeremy cheeks went red and he gave you a shy smile. “I’m hoping that isn’t the case. Let me take you on a proper first date. No basketballs around,” he breathed out.

You can’t hide your amused smile. “One date…to test the waters.”

Jeremy grinned, his hand coming up to access your bruise before his grin turned into a wince in shame. “M’ really sorry about this,” he mumbled.

“You’ll make it up to me.”

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Shane finding out about the Marnie and Lewis relationship? And that Lewis won’t openly be with her?

So... how would Shane react? Depending on exactly how he finds out about it.

If Marnie just tells him about it right away, his face express pure cringe, along the lines like "seriously? Out of all the candidates, you chose him?", but then he'll say that it's up to Marnie to decide who she's happy with.

If, on the other hand, Shane catches Lewis late at night trying to sneak in through the window (like a teenager, merciful Yoba 🤦) and scares him or Jas, Shane will make a scene. For where is it seen that local mayor climb like night thief into a house! Shane lives here too! And Jas! Who thought about the girl when that old prick came through the window?! Maybe Jas would have been scared to death and crying!

His attitude towards this not-so-pleasant event changes dramatically when Shane learns that it's kept secret and he's not supposed to tell anyone. If earlier it was cringe, now it's complete confusion mixed with disbelief, anger and disgust.

It's going to take a lot of willpower (or Jas standing next to him, because he's not going to swear in front of her) to keep from screaming and swearing at everyone (mostly Lewis).

"Am I the only adult here?!" The fact that they're actually behaving even worse than teenagers just pissed Shane off. Even more infuriating to him was the fact that it was Lewis' initiative to keep everything a secret from everyone in Pelican Town.

"Marnie, you're letting him treat you like garbage?!"

"Shane, mind your-"

"Shut the fuck up, you old farts, I'm talking to Marnie right now, not you!"

Anyway, there's gonna be a scandal. Shane will say everything he thinks about their mayor and scold him for being a coward, also not forgetting to add that all this talk about "tainted status" is bullshit and a stupid excuse.

"So worried about your status? Then go fuck your status instead."

One of my personal developments in the plot is that Lewis, some time after the scandal, realises that there's really no point in keeping it a secret and that it hurts Marnie's feelings so much. So at the Flower Dance, the Mayor will shout, "Ah, frick it!" and kiss Marnie passionately in full view of everyone. And Marnie will return the favour.

Lewis will expect judgement, but in the end half the residents will just breathe a sigh of relief and shout "Finally!" (Shane will shout louder than everyone), then so the other half will just congratulate Lewis and Marnie. The Mayor is shocked. And feels like a complete arse and an idiot for not doing it sooner.

Shane is still sceptical about Marnie's choice, but it's her choice. The only thing he can do is make sure Lewis doesn't pull something like this in the future, or else the conflict won't be resolved simply by words.

[mischas]

Do you think The OC aged well?

I am probably the last person to pose this question to, lol. I guess it depends on the individual and what they want out of their media. I've never been able to ignore how this show hated its female lead character and it's been apparent to me this year more than ever that it stemmed from their mistreatment of their female lead actress. I am unable to ever separate the two now, and I reckon we still only know like 5% of the shit that went down on that set 20 years ago.

I think a show that consistently tortures its female lead without recompense is sick, especially one that purports itself to be about family and friendship and love. It's extremely obvious when writers have hate boners for specific female characters. So that does not age well to me and Marissa is 95% of what I care about when it comes to this show. I'm not impressed with hardly any female rep here either. That also comes from my preferences. I think arguments could be made about Julie/Summer/TT but I respectfully don't feel like sharing my opinions about the trajectory of all that. I think Kirsten is a great example of what ~can~ be done with a character and how that potential is squandered at every opportunity.

Julie/Luke ages horrendously. It being played off as a joke in 2023 and beyond is just... so gross. And considering JS only made Luke 18 because he had to is really gross on its own but even worse when you contextualize it with the irl relationship happening on set that very season.

The DJ storyline is terrible and the show clearly knows it from the jump but keeps it going for... some reason. And speaking of, they dropped the ball on race. There are quite a number of racist jokes/lines that absolutely make me cringe. Like anti-Asian jokes. We're supposed to believe Ryan is from Chino and dated a Latina and had friends in the neighborhood and they just... barely ever touch on cultural differences. And barely ever touch on class differences. It's more showing us that rich people are just as miserable as everyone else. And sure that's entertaining and JS/SS have made careers off of it but... sigh. I don't think the messaging of either show actually works for how we're supposed to think it's working, but whatever.

What ages best is probably the Ryan/Seth dynamic but that's mostly irl chemistry imo and the classic Odd Couple trope. Not exactly rocket science to figure out why it endures in viewers' minds. For a show that can be so melodramatic, the only thing that consistently grounds us is Ryan/Seth and that's what TPTB have latched onto since everything else turned to trash *sent with invisible ink*

Basically my long answer is no it did not. But I imagine it did for others who care about other things I don't care about. The Marissa/Mischa of it all will grate on me forever. And imo they can never really be separated thanks to contexts we've gotten in the past couple of years.

[liquidorcard]

I always have thought she is like Nostalgia Critic with incest fetish.

Eh, personally, I don't see that as exactly fair. Like, I get what you mean, and maybe I just have a bit of a soft spot for Doug, but.

I see Doug's failings as more a matter of incompetence than active malice personally. Unfortunately, I am nostalgic for the Nostagia Critic, having grown up watching him.

Yes his media hottakes are not good. Yes, the people who take issue with the unfortunate business decisions he made have the people involved every right to be angry with him. But I personally adore and embrace Doug cringe and all. I make fun of him out of love, where I make fun of Lily out of disdain. I respect and understand everyone who feels differently, but that's where I am at emotionally with it. I don't think Doug meant any harm, even if some of his actions did result in very real harm to some.

If I saw him at a con I'd tell him how much I still kinda love him. Respect what he's done even though it's . . . You know. Very Doug Walker.

He's still that tiny bit, you know, my babby grill. You feel me? Maybe not. I know the whole Channel Awesome thing is very dependent on the age bracket you're in.

If I wanted not for money I'd totally use those funds to buy Channel Awesome from Mike Michaud the fucking fuckface himself so Doug could continue being the cringelord he is without all that fucking toxic baggage. Provided he uphold less toxic business practices.

I'm with Lady Emily in that he shows . . . A degree of some kind of Tommy Wiseau kind of artistic integrity I think is a bit sister slay if you know what I mean.

I cringe, but in a "my dearest beloved" kind of way. I hope that makes sense. I love my camp queen Doug Walker.

[gatheringbones]

i have a question that I've been trying to puzzle out the answer for -- I've noticed that some speculative fiction takes a queer is normal approach because "in the future or since there's aliens! and werewolves! who has the time to question gender?" kind of mindset. as much as I treasure the thought of a future where different phobias aren't a thing, and I don't want to be someone who take too much pride and ego in the suffering (perhaps not the right word) I've been through and survived, it also makes me feel strange in that kind of mindset that, of course there's lesbians and trans people in space! without any homophobia whatsoever. my question is, do you think queernorm is possible in a good way in speculative fiction in a setting where it's so far in the future where idk. teleportation or cloning or body modification or cyborgs exist? regency/historical/fantasy novels tend to be set "in the past" and erasing the colonialism, the racism/xenophobia, not questioning why it's ok to murder orcs/an acceptable group of people, and then suddenly having Gays Are Perfectly Fine and Acceptable is definitely weird, considering all these other biases. But what of scifi? Sorry I'm not as concise and cohesive as I wish I was. I'm in a spot where I do read these and I do think it's fun, but it bothers me as someone whose race/transgender/homosexuality/background as an immigrant has informed so much of me that reading these things has been a war of "I should be happy for others that they imagine this future for themselves and it's all just fun imagination anyways!" vs. "this is not the future I'm sure that I want but I'm worried that I'm too attached to my identity and that's why I'm not considering this other possibility of what science fiction or speculative fiction could imagine for me"

that’s it exactly isn’t it— what’s “normal” when we’re in a speculative world where we’ve supposedly transcended all forms of normal? what’s normal in a future we haven’t seen yet?

answering that would mean looking at the quality of the relationships and the dynamics between the people inside of them and seeing how they connect to present day conceptions of normative behavior. You would have to look at how this comforting speculative world arranges power and the relationships between people with various forms of power.

in assimilationist fiction, queer people assume very specific positions in the story. Their existence summons and soothes specific anxieties crucial to the assimilationist mind— will my straight parents accept me? will my straight friends and acquaintances accept me? am I normal? is the way I love valid? Do I have to change anything about myself just because I’m (cringe) queer? can I go on about my life as a normal person who just happens to be (cringe) queer? will I be able to achieve the standard and normal markers of success for a white, upper-to-middle class, able-bodied person even though I’m (cringe) queer?

the assimilationist story will take these anxieties in hand and address them with the goal of seamlessly incorporating queerness into a heteronormative story structure with functionally no difference between queer and straight (which has the effect of making everyone seem incredibly straight).

I hear you on the taking too much pride and ego in suffering, but I want to poke at that as well— is queer difference really rooted in suffering? are our identities nothing more than wound sites? what IS queer difference and how and why must it be assimilated into heteronormativity and its stranglehold on culture? how does heteronormativity manifest in queer works and what needs does it fill for the queer creator manifesting it? what is it about heteronormativity that feels so so reassuring and interesting and good for queer writers?

it all depends on what the werewolves and aliens in your sci fi are doing, in other words— and who they’re doing it to and why. It depends on what anxieties are present in the text and how the text itself chooses to address them. It depends on the author’s relationship to queer culture and how they relate to cultural norms to begin with, because there won’t be anything like our set of norms in a speculative futuristic world, so the whole question revolves around what is purported to be normal and how the people in that world are meant to relate to that paradigm.

it’s tricky! I don’t have answers, just a whole heap of books written by queer authors who just want to fit in and make money you couldn’t pay me to read.

[iowriteswords]

shyly, carefully push forward DCEU Joker!Dick (like ignore the movie visuals, just the concept)

Canon DCEU facts:

— Richard Grayson’s grave in Bruce’s trauma nightmare.

— charred, bullet-ridden Robin costume spray-painted in green with "AH AH AH joke’s on you Batman"

— Harley Queen is the alleged accomplice in Robin’s murder

— Batman kills. The Joker is still alive tho.

Implied: (confirmed) the Joker tortured and set on fire Dick!Robin.

! fans notice: the bullet holes in the Robsuit matches Joker’s bullet scares.

=> Theory: Dick became Joker.

then there’s that frigging scene in the Knightmare (possible future with everything gone to shit and evil Supes) between Gun Batfleck in a leather jacket and Joker in the ‘bulletproof jacket over Arkham uniform’ chic, watching that with Dick!Joker in mind, dayum. UwU

so my point is not just to push the canonity of the theory, it’s just- the vibe. The headcanon.

the Joker in the (first) Suicide Squad movie is like eeeck bad cringe, creepy and all. But ignoring the visual, what is a canon, bath in the concept.

maybe he got the JJ-Timmy special.

maybe (tabling on Harley’s involvement being just rumors) some traumatic event got him to turn into the Joker (meaning he’s the one and original). Maybe… something like the Court of Owls’s Talonization interrupted and gone wrong! And that resulted in the birth of this verse’s Joker.

*whisper*: would someone give him a hug, or has he done too much shit? Just curious, really. Boy doesn’t *deserve* the hug, exactly. But still, would someone give it to him.

If we threw him at a healed-ish JJ!Tim. Or a Red Hood!Jason. Or Good Dad!Bruce. Or a Damian. Or a full mute!Cass, who doesn’t understand his whole misdirecting drivel and only read his body language who screams-

So I am very afraid to come across as rude? I hope I don’t. I just- got this circling in my head, and it made think very strongly of your Flightless Birds serie…

Because you like JJ and torturing Dick Grayson into Talon.

Like, I’ll shamelessly admit that if it happened to inspire you I would be ecstatic. But that’s the pipe dream. My realistic wish — the actual ask here, ig — is your thought on the idea? Like if u feel the vibe he could have or if the character just creep u out. I’m saying that making full abstraction of the actual visual of DCEU Joker myself.

You’re not coming across as rude at all!

The Joker also being a Talon would explain his skin tone, and also how no one ever kills him - like even if Batman’s not gonna kill, you’d think someone in the world would take care of it at some point, and he has been, like, blown up.

I think whether he gets a hug depends on if he’s the one who killed Jason and tortured Tim.

I watched that clip, and I’m super confused - I haven’t seen the original movie in years and haven’t ever seen the Snyder cut. So. Confused by Intrigued.

I don’t think I would write anything about it, at least not right now, because it would likely end up a little too intense, but I would enjoy reading about it!

[amyreads]

Your writing is absolutely incredible. I love the way you write characters, it's really realistic and refreshing. Do you have any advice for writing such realistic characters?

thank you!

i look back on my early fanfiction and cringe at how jilted and unrealistic the dialogue was.

one thing i notice about some stories is how obvious the author is being like sometimes you can read a dialogue and you know the author wants you to feel some kind of way or wants you to romance this character and im definitely guilty of that in terms of the emotion i try to pull as people read, but sometimes it can really ruin the realism.

for example, there's been many times that i write a romantic choice for MC to say to orion and i want orion to say a certain thing in return because im like "omg this is the most romantic line ever someone shower me in flowers this is going to BANG theyre going to love this" and then my logical part of my brain is like "orion would never say this..." and i have to delete it and put something that aligns more with his character.

it's also nice to remember that people are not static. we move as we speak, we think, sometimes we need to pause, react, scratch our nose lol and i think adding action, no matter how small it may be, adds to making them feel a bit more real. sometimes conversations get derailed, people cut each other off, sometimes we get too passionate. it's rare that people have an actual like... straightforward back and forth where they know exactly what they're going to say next and they always wait exactly 3 seconds for the person to finish, you know?

for example:

"Wait." She raises a hand to cut you off, making a baffled face. "What?"

"Wait," she says. "What?"

Even without context, the first one at least gives you a better idea of how she feels about whatever she just heard.

what helps me is also saying the dialogue aloud! it helps me actually listen to the convo and sometimes i realize it sounds off. also, tone and and how people speak is very much dependent on the setting and story. MC isn't going to talk like a 20th-century aristocrat, while the 20th-century aristocrat isn't going to talk like MC. I am actually a bit more of a flowery writer than I am in the game, but flowery writing and long-winded, overly complicated metaphors just don't fit when it's supposed to be MC's monologue, so I have to dial it back for realism purposes!

This probably doesn't help, but thinking like this is what helped me brush up my dialogue better. I used to write like this:

"Oh," she said.

He smiled. "Yeah."

"Can we go to the store now?" she asked.

"No." He shakes his head. "I don't want to."

"Okay," she said. "I will go later then."

"Okay."

Terrible lmao

im glad!

[tempests-bards-and-birds]

i was tagged by @kanonavi! i appreciate the tag <3

-

why did you choose your URL?

my current one is just my online name (tempest) + bards (venti) + birds (xiao). i know that fandom URLs can seem a bit cringe or whatever but idk. i like it!

2. any sideblogs? if so, name them and why you have them.

nope! i toyed with the idea of making one but i like keeping things in one place, so sorry to my irls who don't follow me for genshin. thanks for not leaving lmao

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

my archive goes back to april 2022 so just over two years now. it feels longer but oh well

4. do you have a queue tag?

the only thing i use the queue for is scheduling posts for specific days so no.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

a couple of my irl friends said that they were on tumblr and i thought i might as well join and see if there was anything to do with miraculous on here (spoiler alert: there was.)

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

venti.

7. why did you choose your header?

it's just a gif that i made of the one piece of canon xiaoven content that we had pre-endless suffering. it's there and i don't really see a reason to change it soooo yeah!

8. what's your post with the most notes?

this miraculous gifset that i posted july 2022 that has 3,180 notes as of writing this (it hasn't gotten any in A While so i think i'm safe for now)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

including irls it's 14 but excluding irls it's 11! i love you all

10. how many followers do you have?

308 but i think a significant portion of them are inactive now. love you guys too tho btw

11. how many people do you follow?

250 exactly

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

depends on what you consider to be a shitpost i guess. if you would class stuff like the rhodeia post i made last week as shitposting then sure.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

probably anywhere between half an hour and two hours depending on how active my dash is and just how much i'm rotting in general.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

not that i can remember?

15. how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

no. absolutely not.

16. do you like tag games?

yes but a lot of the time i don't do them because i never have any idea if my mutuals are comfortable with them or not and deciding on who to tag always gives me far more stress than it probably should because i am chronically afraid of Annoying People.

17. do you like ask games?

yeah! people aren't obligated to send me asks for them though i don't wanna seem attention seeking either aha

18. which of your mutuals is tumblr famous?

i don't know if any of them are tbh i don't pay that much attention to stuff like that (if any of you do consider yourselves to be tumblr famous though please tell me)

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

platonically sure, but. uh. *gestures to pfp*

20. tags:

@girlboy-frankensteins-monster @dopefrickingjelysquid

[willowmouse]

willow wednesday life update

hello kind denizens of tumblr. i still do not know how to use your website. i'm gonna try and use this website way more though for a whole bunch of reasons, including the following. twitter is hell and i probably need to move off there sooner rather than later, since it's kind of embarrassing when i have to tell people that's where i'm most active still. i also have a very unhealthy habit of making public diary entries on my shitty wix website, which is NOT the place for stuff like that really since that's where some of my more serious writing is too. finally, i just like how this place looks. i like the vibe. i like how i can add pictures and gifs and music and ramble for ages on these, and that's exactly what i'm gonna do!!! i feel kind of awkward talking to specific people about how my day is going or whatever because i have trouble figuring out the point at which i actually become someone's friend and not just an acquaintance or whatever, so here's how things are going for me right now in case you were interested!!!

oh and pls tell me about how ur day is going if you read this :3 i wanna know these things ok

the bad place

i'm going to begin by completely spoiling the tv show "the good place" so skip this bit if that's a thing you wanna watch or whatever. so you know how the whole idea of that show is that these people are shown this amazing afterlife world and are told they're in the good place and not the bad place, but it eventually becomes apparent that they ARE in the bad place and are being tortured in ways deeply specific to the ways that they sucked when they were alive? that's how tutorial sessions feel at university on this physics course. i feel like i'm being tortured for not putting my hand up in class more at school. what happens is that we're put into small groups - there are five of us in our tutorial group - and given weekly meetings with a tutor, then given questions to think about/answer which i guess will eventually depend on what we're covering in any given module.

it's the combination of having to think incredibly quickly about questions that require applied knowledge of stuff i've completely forgotten about having taken a year out of education, if they aren't trick questions anyway, and having to give a stuttered, probably wrong answer in front of other people who seem much more competent with these tasks than i am that makes these sessions feel like torture specifically for me. these are the kinds of questions i would revise for months and months to prepare myself for in an exam setting and would still get wrong. i've felt incredibly fucking stupid coming out of both sessions we've done so far and i can't imagine that will change going forward and it's completely humiliating. i've gone my entire life without being made to feel so stupid in any kind of maths or physics related environment and now that i'm at university you're telling me i have to feel every bit as humiliated as i did during the very worst drama or music at secondary school? fuck right off. fuck whoever came up with these.

no stickers (yet)

this is my laptop!!! it's very fancy and i'm extremely happy with it. i'm trying to figure out which, if any, of my stickers i should put on it. i have a progress flag sticker, a bunch from the new jamie xx record since they were giving those away in rough trade AND i was thinking of making my own stickers at some point too!!! they would probably be of my mouse sona though and it depends how thoroughly i want to out myself as a cringe transgender furry to everyone here and back at home since my family will also inevitably see them. we'll see i guess!!! god forbid a girl just want their OC design that represents how they see themselves in a way that makes them happy and affirms their concept of gender but in a way that might weird some people out because it's a cartoon mouse.

thanks to this thing, though, lectures have been going pretty okay so far. thankfully, unlike in tutorials, topics are being taken extremely slow in the lecture theatres at the moment. as someone who has forgotten literally everything and absolutely needs a few reminders about how to handle simple shit like polynomials and vectors, i could not be more thankful. unfortunately, the laptop didn't come with a stylus so notetaking has been exclusively on microsoft word and on paper so far. that should hopefully change by the end of the day, though!!! then i just need to figure out how onenote works and transfer all of my notes from word/paper onto onenote to have everything kind of in one place and THEN it'll be so over for everyone else because i will lock the fuck in.

my badges

i brought so many badges up here with me and i'm going to leave with even more. i got given one from the local camp for the liberation of palestine and found a couple for the physics department. the lanyard has ended up being incredibly heavy so i don't use it to carry my ID card anymore (i have an actual ID card now, which kind of sucks because i liked my homemade one more), but it remains my second most complimented piece of fashion after my fontaines d.c. shirt. it's entirely responsible for one of my new besties starting conversation with me, which i'm incredibly grateful. we talked for ages about how overwhelming we were finding the "meet your cohort" afternoon since it was basically several hours of forced socialisation, but we somehow ended up as part of a group of five people talking about tons of random bullshit. not too bad for a couple of complete introverts!!!

every now and then i have the nerve to wear my trans flag pin out in public. i will soon be wearing it a whole lot more. i wrote a huge thing about trans stuff over the past few days but decided not to make it public because i spent most of it grossly oversharing, so uhh. whoops. i can't thank the people who have helped me get to this point enough. i owe you my life and like a million hugs. i know i suck at initiating conversation and might not be the easiest person to be friends with, but if you think that we might be friends, i assure you that we totally are. i have no idea where the line is drawn but i am always more than happy to call whoever wants to be one a friend.

twin squeaks

gravity falls summer is over and night in the woods autumn is in full swing, but i was hoping to get some early reading in before twin peaks winter hits. my parents sent me up with this box set thing that they have, but the second disk is literally unplayable meaning that i can only get as far as the pilot. kind of sucks. someday i'll find a way to watch this show without the universe cursing me.

record stores make me so happy

a signed copy of guitar music by courting??? are you fucking kidding me??? am i seriously going to have to buy this record AGAIN??? (maybe :3)

book on a shelf

it's a worrying sign for my mental state that i'm getting back into bright eyes, let alone starting to get lifted. lifted has always been the one record in their discography that i've found to be a little overrated, just because people call this the best or one of the best records conor's made when it doesn't make the top 10 for me. right now, though, it is hitting. i've listened to make war directly into you will (etc.) most days this past week. i've also remembered how badly i want to be able to play guitar. if i could pick up an acoustic guitar right now and be able to play you will and just perform that song whenever it's something i need to get out of my system, or do the same for just about any bright eyes song i guess, i think i would feel a whole lot healthier.

fevers and mirrors still clears this record so fucking hard, though. i completely agree with what ian cohen wrote about it recently, that you don't really get anything new out of it once you've aged out of finding songs with titles like "the center of the world" relatable, but it's an incredible time capsule for a time when everything felt like it mattered way more than it actually did. i miss feeling things. i miss feeling the kind of misery that brought me to fevers and mirrors in the first place rather than everything just being a grey fog now.

light decorations

i put up a few posters. the weyes blood poster from my vinyl copy of hearts aglow, obviously, as well as the grian chatten poster i got from my former local record store and a foals tour poster i got as a gift. not just any foals tour, by the way - a 2016 what went down-era foals tour with none other than get to heaven-era everything everything supporting. back then, you could go to the same show to hear both blast doors and birch tree. fucking insane.

i haven't decorated much because for the past week i have been incredibly ill and i don't know when it will end. i haven't felt well enough to do lectures or lab work or any of the shit that i'm being expected to do, but i doubt anyone else is either and they're all showing up for the same reasons i am - it's the first week and you can't afford to miss out on this stuff. plus, i like seeing my new friends, even if their first and only impression of me is "person who looks like a guy who is constantly on the brink of death and doesn't say anything ever." i'm definitely not putting my best foot forward here so far. somehow, it's still led to me finding or being found by some of the loveliest people i've ever met, so that's something to be grateful for. i wish i could stop feeling like shit now though. i hate this so much. i think that i'm past the worst part, though, which would've been over the weekend when i kept convincing myself i was dead and had a huge breakdown over an apple juice dispenser dispensing water. It's (probably) only up from here.

this concludes willow wednesday here on tumblr dot com. let me know how incredibly relatable my many squeakings are in the comments below, remember to like and subscribe and hit the bell or something :3 love u!!! thanks for reading <3

[gurokichi]

I think this is my second or third ask today, I'm very proud of myself xd.

Well, to answer your question, I think we are similar because of some posts that you have, because when I read them, it remind me of myself.

Because (can you count how many times I write the word "because"?,i think you can do it Bon xd) even if you not believe it, I'm so much like you, but unlike you, I'm afraid of show that side of me, the side that is obsessive, possessive, the side of me that wants to be hurt but loved at the same time, the side that is soo jealous over anyone that stay so close of someone that I loved (platonic and romantic), in that sense, I kind of envy you Bon, you are more brave than me to show all of you, even the most "creepy" and "weird" sides of you (however I don't think you are creepy or weird, you are very cute to me Bon, so kind and nice, it's almost unbelievable).

Leaving this aside, I knew that you would say that, I don't know how, but I knew you wouldn't watch KNY for that long until you wanted to do something else instead, and don't worry, it doesn't bother me that you haven't watch everything yet

Because (why I say "because" so much? ;-;) it happens to me soo often that is not funny anymore -,w,- .

Can I be honest with you Bon?, I was expecting you to know my blog even before I started to like yours posts, because, I know you have that "bad" habit to want to know everything you can about your anons (it's now a "bad" habit to me though, I find it very cute.... I called you that so many times didn't I? (- w - ")) , and btw, did you like my blog?, I don't post anything yet but, at least you could tell if you like how my blog looks (even if I think it looks a little bad or "cringe" to me).

And I really want to believe that what you said is true bon, that she would talk to me again like we used to, but I think she is mad at me, because she didn't answer my messages and she didn't talk to me for the past two days, and It makes feel so bad because, she one of the few friends I have (because the rest left me alone), and the mere thing that she would hate makes me want to cry and to want to tell her that I don't want her to leave (you could say that i'm a bit dependent on her).

And I know that this has nothing to do with what I was saying before but, in my room there were a lot of ants, and not exactly the little ones, but the big ones that if they bite you they hurt a shit.

Luckily, my father killed them all by setting them on fire and then he took them out of my room, to say that I was scared was not enough, I almost died of fear.

And now I'm going to explain you the meme that I said (I mean the "esa frase casi me da un oscar" one), well, basically, the meme is used when a famous person or character says something that became representative of that famous character or person, i could give an example of Kokichi with his iconic “it's a lie!”, but the meme can also be used if a character or person says something specific and repeats it constantly, and I would set an example of myself with my “and that's all for now!” , and basically that's why I referred to that meme (I can't believe I had to explain a damn meme to someone, but you don't speak my language so it's understandable, and I'm sorry if you don't understand what I said, my way of explain things is always so shitty and stupid) .

And I think that's all I want to say, I will waiting for your answer bon, bye love you! :D

- Unnamed Anon :p

So many asks!! I love reading and answering them, though!

Ah, I see. I think being able to act as you want just depends on the people you’re around. I’m lucky enough to (mostly) be surrounded by people who don’t judge me for the way I am! Being so open here doesn’t mean I’m not afraid to show this side of me, though. I worry that I’ll be too much or that those around me actually don’t like it often. I’ve hidden and still do hide just how odd I am from others, even people who know about this behavior of mine. There’s one person who I’m not afraid about being completely open to, and that’s my God. Everyone else just gets the watered-down in some way version of me. Just find people that you're sure you can trust with that side of you, and you'll be able to be as open about it as you'd like! It's scary at first, but once you realize others can absolutely be just as "weird" as you, then it's not as bad. You'll find someone you can unapologetically be yourself around one day! Thank you for the compliments, ehehe.

I actually was watching some more of KNY when you sent this in… which is why it took me a lil bit to respond. I just started episode 5 before checking Tumblr and seeing your ask!

You knew about that already? I was under the impression you wouldn't have seen any posts where I admitted to that before you went through my blog, hahah. I'm happy you find it cute, though. I know who every single one of my anons are! I just find it more fun to play dumb most of the time. Besides, I wouldn't wanna scare anyone off. As for liking your blog, I did! I recognized your profile picture from a show that one of my friends likes… I still need to watch it.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation with your friend. It's unfair to you that she's ignoring you like that, even if she's mad at you. You don't deserve that at all. I truly hope that you're able to sort things out with her. Things will get better, and I'm sure you'll be able to make more friends in the future too <3

Oh dear, that sounds awful. I would also die of fear if there were ants in my room!! I hate hate hate bugs. They're the worst! "Oh, but Bon, they're important to the environment-" I do not care! The environment is not my house!! They can do whatever they want outside where they belong. Very reasonable reaction to set them on fire

Ooh, now I understand why you referenced that meme! Thank you for taking the time to explain it to me. By the way, I think you said "because" 10 times? I may have miscounted, though.

[thesinglesjukebox]

BEN PLATT - "ANDREW"

"Andrew! Andrew! Andrew! You're gonna love meeeeeeeeee..."

[6.36]

Jeffrey Brister: Platt’s an incredibly talented vocalist, there’s no doubt there, and a good performance can do a lot to elevate average material -- like, say, a pleasant but unremarkable folky song about being sad and gay. His delicate falsetto dancing over top of the guitar, how the chorus blooms with yearning in a name, staying away from theatre kid pyrotechnics -- it’s a laundry list of good choices, and I’m just bowled over by its simple and straightforward beauty and earnestness. [8]

Alfred Soto: Depending on my diet that day I can embrace this unmitigated schmaltz or vomit at the sight of it. Neither the falsetto nor the lyrics have heard of subtlety. I am past the age when unrequited lust wears the drag of lachrymosity, but I hope I'm not callous enough to understand when young adults need it. [6]

Hannah Jocelyn: A friend and I made a list of songs about unrequited queer love, specifically when it comes to incompatible orientations. This is Ben Platt’s entry in the canon, and it’s the best song I’ve heard from him, the first that doesn't sound like rejected tracks from either Dear Evan Hansen or Blue Neighborhood -- it starts off very Simon & Garfunkel, but the more ambient Sufjan Stevens territory on the chorus fits him shockingly well. One problem: the Melodyne detracts from how sincere and pure the writing is (isn't Dave Cobb known for his authenticity?), to the point where Platt sings "if I can't get closer then I am destroyed" and sounds like a Dalek. Normally that would be a dealbreaker, and maybe I would dismiss this if I hadn't, in fact, had an Andrew or five. Cobb's production is gentle and tender enough that I can just lie back and think of all the pretty girls. [7]

Isabel Cole: I do appreciate the concept of this aching little ditty about the specific wrenching futility of crushing on a straight guy, and the idea of “wasting heartbreak” on someone who would never even be able to grant you the dignity of being rejected for your actual self is poignant. I can imagine the teen for whom this hits at exactly the right time, and that’s not nothing. But the first-love adolescent yearning of the lyrics fits oddly with the meandering melody and the folky arrangement (it’s giving Harry Styles Presents VH1’s I Love The 60s), and Platt… listen, whatever you think of  Dear Evan Hansen, no one’s ever denied that the guy can sing. Here, it’s hard to shake the sense that he’s deliberately trying to differentiate his solo work from his Broadway past by avoiding sounding too musical theater, choosing instead to flatten his clear, resonant tone into a dull, nasal drone that feels like he’s playing Barefoot Guy With Guitar in a mockumentary about hippies. It doesn’t really work -- his falsetto sounds grating, and like a lot of stage singers trying to branch out, there’s a certain mannered quality he can’t quite shake -- and the few more vibrant lines towards the end make me wish I could hear a version of this aiming for the cheap seats. [4]

Ian Mathers: As someone who has disliked Ben Platt in everything I've seen or heard him in, I was absolutely prepared to reject this song from its Cat Stevens-ass opening, but then I kept listening and... I don't know, I keep thinking about that classic tumblr post that ends with "I am cringe, but I am free." I listened a few more times and... it's kind of lovely? Something about it reminds me of Gordon Lightfoot? I remember how much songs that seemed to speak to my particular romantic torments meant to me as a teen and I can absolutely imagine the kid who is going to play this on a loop like I did Sloan's "Deeper Than Beauty" or whatever? Don't make me regret this, Platt. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: The frustrating parts of this song have nothing to do with Ben Platt's voice. Whatever his faults in Dear Evan Hansen, Ben has a mellifluous tenor that comfortably floats in the higher parts of his range, allowing certain lines that feel clunky ("what a time-wastin', sweet happiness-takin', self-esteem, mess-making, heart-breakin' shame") to float past so pleasantly that when your own voice begins to sing them, they jumble together in your throat until they all flow out with the delivery of "Andrew." Producer Dave Cobb's helium guitar chords are also not the problem -- they lift Platt's voice and remain so close to it that when they lean back and let him take center stage, they allow Platt to send his melody up and catch it comfortably. The frustrating thing is the drums; they are so thin and yet so rigid that when they enter, the song loses the butterfly subtlety it needed to soar. Derrek Phillips, who has played with Vanessa Williams and Rahsaan Barber, somehow had to anchor the song in a way that would give it heft and keep its light, breezy charm, but instead he reinforces the dull structure of a second-verse drum groove, and all the hard work done by Platt and Alex Hope is squandered. A bolder choice by Platt or Cobb would've been to lean into the acoustic guitar arrangement by adding the bass and keyboards, and maybe the percussion (also done by Phillips) would act as the anchoring factor. Instead, the rigid structure kills probably the second-best thing Ben Platt has done. [7]

Jackie Powell: Ben Platt has had difficulty translating his vocal talents from film soundtrack music (the Pitch Perfect trilogy) and show tunes (The Book of Mormon and Dear Evan Hansen) into pop music. On songs like “Grow as We Go” and “Rain,” he sounded like slightly more adult versions of the characters he played. He’s leaned into motivational songs without any sort of foundation. “Andrew” works better than his previous pop offerings because of the story he paints of falling for a straight (or maybe not) friend who has led him on. A lot of these stories are coming out of the woodwork as of late with tracks such as Reneé Rapp’s “Pretty Girls” and Fletcher’s “Two Things Can Be True."  These stories need to be told and provide a certain type of respite for queer people who too have felt a similar level of pain. Platt calls the situation a “cruel joke” and self-deprecates in a witty but incredibly depressing bridge. He’s not questioning whether falling for “Andrew” wastes his time but rather declares the infatuation as a time vampire that robs more than it gives. What’s less than desired, however, is the Simon & Garfunkel cosplay he attempts in the verses. The Auto-Tune that helps layer his vocals isn’t needed. The folksiness in “Andrew” is a step in the right direction for Platt in his journey to translating better into pop. I just wish he could have paid homage to Simon & Garfunkel in a way that didn’t come across as just another Broadway character he’s playing.  [7]

Taylor Alatorre: I feel the exact same way listening to this as I do when reading the Urban Dictionary definition of any relatively common male first name. [3]

Katherine St. Asaph: What is it about guys named Andrew that inspires plaintive folk songs? Having no longings for any Andrews, I can only connect to these songs through my nostalgia, and thus Platt's is my favorite because it navigates those channels best -- which is to say it sounds exactly like Simon & Garfunkel. [6]

Mark Sinker: Not sure I remember a song where the jump from chest voice to head voice for the high notes feels so extremely foregrounded as a DECISION NOW BEING TAKEN. AND IT'S DONE! I can imagine arrangement where this works with the content: except here’s it’s like literally everything else about the song is funneling your attention to this choice instead, and I don’t think it’s what I’m meant to be thinking about? You have a nice voice mate, sorry your crush didn’t work out, that sucks.  [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Every time I've tried to write this blurb it's come out too ironic -- couching my appreciation for it in my disbelief that Dear himself could make such a perfect rendering of the version of Sufjan Stevens' music that exists only in the minds of 2014 Tumblr users, things of that nature. But let me meet sincerity with sincerity and say that "Andrew" wrecks my shit completely every time I listen to it, every achingly beautiful guitar arpeggio and breathy note from Platt activating all of my sentimental impulses. Most of all I admire the commitment here -- there's never a moment of performance from Platt or his producers that shies away from the full teenage gay melodrama of the lyrics. Weaker souls would have tried to subvert the maudlin stuff here. I'm glad they didn't. [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]